Another page

Apparently, I just can't sleep. Several things on my mind are keeping me thinking if I'm doing the right thing. I hope so I am.

Going through old posts, I just realized how much I poured about my sickness in this blog. How very negative. huh. Somehow, maybe I thought that it was a way to just let it all go, it never stopped coming back. Yeah, very depressing but that occupies a major part of my life, since e7m my immune system isn't that good. Ne ways, Il7imdillah.

Been over a week, aunty is still hospitalized. It is scary. We go to the hospital every single day if not then every other day, I mean I do that when I'm not ok, see again, I'm sick when I'm not OK. Cousin is planning on taking her for medication abroad and it seems that the wisest thing is that we tag along and keep aunty company. Just a mean of support. I know that changes our plans for Eid vacation but it is ok, as long as aunty is recovering and gets better.

Keeping distance seems to be getting me along with people. I kinda feel that I need to get updated about what's going around, it is just not the right time. To the people who think I'm careless and selfish by not socializing as much, I'm trying my best. The other day, I received a message from my cousin, a joke, it made me laugh. It just opened a subject for us to talk. We kept remembering us being kids. Going to the park every weekend. Teenage crushes. Roller blades. Same t-shirts. Doughnuts by the beach. And out of nowhere, she said, just come to Dubai, I miss you. I said we need to catch up, I want to know everything, but I somehow don't like the idea of spending a night in Dubai. She asked why? I answered, Dubai is not like the old days, I don't feel comfortable enough. She said, ok just this time. So, I thought, maybe it is time to just visit. I can sense a lot of drama happening in her life and she really wants to talk to an old friend. It is only that I hate the fact that I wont have my own car to drive in Dubai and I'm not sure if anyone would lend me his/her car. That sucks big time. Well that depends if I get to go to Dubai over the weekend or wait and see if aunty gets discharged and goes home.

Ok, this is funny. I'm the youngest of all my siblings. The age gap between my brother and myself is big enough, how about the others. So, I was in my sister's room. I opened the drawer and got her hair brush and combed my wet hair. She was sitting in the living room, so I shouted, "heeeey, I used your comb." She said, "K, what haven't you not used, me mathalan." Lol, that was funny. She's hilarious.

On the Bulletin Board:

- Sometimes I feel that I'm a burden on soooo many people, maybe that's why I'm keeping distance.

- I keep forgetting the verbes, ops did I just spell it in French. Damn that is really confusing.

- I'm waiting ok!

- It would be great if people stop nagging me about work.

- I'm scared as ever from my decisions.

- Not eating for long hours and eating very little mushy food from time to time made my jaw feel so stiff.

Stay tuned,