A consensus...!

You grow up thinking that you really strong and understand the world. You believe in so may things and seek independence. You even almost always either doing things against your will or you make them to make them happy, you family and especially parents. It is not wrong that they shape for you the path you grow up to follow, but again, you think that you've grown up and have to decide for yourself and need no one's help.

I believe I mentioned that I'm the kiddo of the family, but I know that no matter how much I grow, my thinking grows and how mature I become, I would stay the kiddo they all take care of. It doesn't matter how bossy you become, or how demanding, or even how your opinion is important to their decisions. I do take part in everything, however, nothing will ever change, they all want to take care of that kiddo some way or another.

It might be a long introduction to what I want to say, but the thing is, I reached to a consensus, not a bad one but it kept me thinking all night. I'M FRAGILE, very FRAGILE, I can see it in their eyes, in their concerns, in how I'm spoiled in everything. (Oh God, my eyes are tearing right now) A friend asked me how FRAGILE I'm, is it physically, but I said no, in every way. I know I can be very strong, brave and challenging, yet this little part of me collapses from time to time, after all I really do break and they are the ones who pull me together.

Yesterday, the October 1st at 11:30 pm, was yet again a night/morning spent in the emergency wards of the hospital. I barely walked when they got me a wheel chair, I tried to shut my eyes the best I could, light did hurt my eyes, you'd laugh and feel sorry for me if you saw me. A humble creature wearing green crocs with navy blue zigzag patterned socks, a wool jacket, shivering in my place trying my best to respond to the questions. Symptoms were, extreme headache from the temples, eyes, nose and the end part of the skull from the back of the head hurts. Plus nausea - which turned to vomiting, freezing which meant I had excessive diarrhea, everything actually hurt. Diagnosis: was that I have migraines which I know and abdominal infection. Treatment: IV fluid, some stomach pain fluid and pain killers fluid, all through one vein into my blood stream. After about 2 - 3 hours sticking my hands, it really felt burning, numb and kinda dead.

Now, I know that's why they are always on speed dial on my phone. Now, I know that no matter what I do I wont be able to say thank you. Now I know no matter how strong I'm, I'm still that FRAGILE creature. Now I know that no one will able to take care of me the way they do. But over all that, now I know that I've loved them dearly and will always do.

That's the way it always has to be.

Almost done, 1 more hour to go for the 3rd bottle of fluid to run through that poor vein.

When I was done, my sister pushed the button to call the nurse. The receptionist nurse came and stupidly stops the pressure of the medicine to in. The next few minutes I was bleeding out, since there was no pressure.

On the Bulletin Board:

- Mshmsh got vaccined, his next one is soon.

- My Ortho appointment is soon too, I can feel my teeth moving yet again and the braces hurt my gum.

- All I've been doing is reading lately, in short intervals.

- Consensus = I'm FRAGILE!!!!!

Stay tuned,